Purely Educational
by Melpomene-the-Tragic-Parody
Summary: Human AU; while Arthur attempts to tutor Alfred in his worst subject, Alfred attempts to occupy his time with something more interesting, in which he utterly fails as well. As a tutor, Arthur does his job regardless, though it's not to the usual standards. Pairing: USUK, mentions of FrUk.


**DISCLAIMER: Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. I, like everyone else on this fan fiction site, make no claims of owning it.**

**MAIN CHARACTERS: America [**_**Alfred F. Jones**_**], England/Britain [**_**Arthur Kirkland**_**]**

**SECONDARY CHARACTERS: Japan [**_**Kiku Honda**_**]**

**MINOR CHARACTERS: China [**_**Yao Wang**_**], France [**_**Francis Bonnefoy**_**]**

**PLOT SUMMARY: Human AU; while Arthur attempts to tutor Alfred in his worst subject, Alfred attempts to occupy his time with something more interesting, in which he utterly fails as well. As a tutor, Arthur does his job regardless, though it's not to the usual standards.**

**RATING: Romance/Humor**

**GENRE: T**

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**AMERICA AND ENGLAND**

**Purely Educational**

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Arthur Kirkland met with Alfred F. Jones at their usual spot in the library. On a Saturday morning, he would have loved to use his time for more relaxing and enjoyable activities, such as finishing the embroidery on the cushions he finished sewing the other day, or even trying out a new recipe for his scones, using that strawberry yoghurt he'd bought. He would even settle for reading a book with a quiet cup of tea in his dormitory, but instead, the books in his hands were far from the magical castles and powerful wizards he was so fond of.

Instead, he spent his Saturday morning preparing the notes and textbooks he would need to tutor the hopeless sophomore his roommate, Kiku, had befriended. It was not that he didn't like Alfred Jones, because he did, but the young American sophomore was everything that annoyed the English junior and drove him up a wall. He could compose an entire list of the incessant traits the American proudly carried on his shoulders, though he admitted that they were nowhere as long as the folder he had for Francis Bonnefoy, the annoying senior Frenchman.

Arthur held his study notes and textbooks carefully in his arms as he entered the library and wove his way through the tall shelves, stacked with an endless supply of books that called out to him as he passed. He nodded a silent greeting to the academy's librarian Yao Wang, a Chinese man who appeared younger than his true age, and he actually appreciated the worth of all these books, unlike other people Arthur could recall. He would have stopped to chat, but decided it best to just locate that American and attempt to help him with his European History lessons.

As Arthur predicted, Alfred was sitting near the windows in that secluded little corner, with his notebook closed on the sofa next to his backpack, and his long, toned legs crossed to rest on the smooth surface of the table next to it. He was munching away on a small container partially filled with cherries, his face displaying an alarming array of expressions that would have tickled a laugh in Arthur's throat had he not felt another twinge of annoyance.

"We're not supposed to eat in the library," he hissed at Alfred as he unloaded his bag and books into the table next to Alfred's feet. He pointed at them and added, "Take your feet down from there right now!"

"Dude, relax," Alfred said, popping another cherry into his mouth. "Mr. Wang doesn't even come back here. He's not gonna to catch us."

"That is beside the point," Arthur replied before sighing dismally for his own efforts. His bright green eyes narrowed under his bushy eyebrows as Alfred chuckled as rested the container down on the table between their books. "Thank you."

"No prob," Alfred wiped his fingers on the hem on his polo shirt, earning another annoyed sigh from his tutor. "Like, dude, do we really have to study today? 'Cuz Gilbert invited me to his totally rad party with the other guys. Even Mattie's goin'!"

"How is a party going to prepare you for your next History quiz?" Arthur asked coolly as he turned the pages of his textbook. "You were lucky to achieve a C+ in the last one."

"Hey! I got better than when we first started!"

"You were getting straight F's. Anything is an improvement over that! How do you do so well in mathematics and chemistry, but so abysmally in History. _And_ Geography?"

"Because math and chem are interesting! I like the stuff with a challenge, you know! History is a bunch of facts about a bunch of dead people who really screwed up their countries with wars and slavery. That's a total bore!"

Arthur wanted to bury his face into the sofa and scream himself hoarse, but the reminder that he made a promise to Kiku prevented him from not only doing that, but also smacking Alfred on the top of his head with his heaviest book. Why was it, in the end, they always came back to arguing with one another? Was it possible to have just one session that went smoothly and Arthur could leave without wanting to strangle someone and down an entire bottle of rum?

"Just turn to page 395 and let's begin," Arthur said curtly.

Alfred raised his eyebrow. "Dude. Did you, like, make a Harry Potter reference just now?"

"No, I most certainly did not!" Arthur protested. "That was page 39_4_! Now just open your book!"

"We're gonna to get thrown out of here if you keep yellin'," Alfred muttered, and Arthur had to take slow breaths not to retort at him.

While Arthur could identify Alfred's annoying traits without hesitation, he also had a list of why the American was actually endearing, if not immature. He was not like the other students, who went out to drink to ease stress or partying their nights away. In the academy, it never mattered if the individual was underage or not, as long as they knew who to talk to, mainly a Dane in the senior year, and refrained from doing anything to cause suspicion with the teachers, they could have any alcohol they could pay for. Alfred loved parties, but he was more of the person to be the designated driver for his friends, and was always willing to help anyone. He had a lively character, a noble disposition, a compassionate heart, and as for manners, he somehow succeeding in being polite most days while butchering the English language with this American ways.

Not that Arthur would ever say any of that, other than the last bit. Also, the fact that he thought Alfred was quite handsome also went ignored.

For the next few minutes, their session went smoothly. Alfred read the chapters under Arthur's instruction while Arthur wrote down and reviewed various questions that he wanted Alfred to answer when he was through, multitasking by correcting Alfred's homework. However, after a while, Alfred began helping himself to the cherries again, glancing at Arthur every time he tutted at him, and only chuckled in response. He kept his up until the cherries were done, leaving only their stems behind.

Alfred had to admit that he enjoyed riling up his senior classmate. He didn't know what it was about Arthur, but his reactions to almost anything he did were highly amusing. He had heard stories from Kiku, who had known Arthur for years, and was actually quite surprised at how his character had evolved into the young man sitting before him. Even Gilbert had known him long enough to say that Arthur was quite the party boy when he wanted to be, coming from a rich background with several loudmouthed and brash elder brothers, and while he enjoyed being proper and prim, there was a punk adolescent that always gleamed in Arthur's eyes whenever he got angry. It made Alfred curious as to how he would behave if he just relaxed and stopped being a stick-in-the-mud for a few minutes.

However, Arthur was just too stubborn to let that side show when he didn't want to, and all Alfred was allowed was the "straight A", proper and coordinated English adolescent. He glanced at how the man crossed his legs as frowned at his homework in his hands, making scribbles and scratches every five seconds, his bright green eyes glittering with exasperation as he shook his head, making what Alfred guessed was a question mark somewhere on the paper. The young American grinned to himself.

Alfred's focus on his textbook waned as the minutes ticked on, and his head eventually decided to fill itself with more pleasant and interesting daydreams, pulling up a conversation with his little brother, Gilbert, and Antonio that sparked his interest. He stared down at the cherry stems and grinned.

Arthur managed to place ticks on the final ten questions on Alfred's homework, but exasperatedly peered over at the previous questions, where 75% of his answers were covered with red marks from his favorite red pen. Alfred wasn't quite literate with how he wanted to express his answers, often forcing Arthur to try and derive his meaning when the answer should have been straightforward. It gave Arthur a headache. He glanced up at the American, who had renewed his ability to arrange his face into a variety of expressions just by screwing up his mouth and squinting his eyes, staring as some random spot on the wall.

"Alfred, what on earth are you doing?" Arthur asked after staring at him for an entire minute.

"Stuff," Alfred replied vague.

A vein threatened to pop in Arthur's forehead. "Answer me in a complete sentence, Alfred."

Alfred stopped long enough to smirk at his tutor. "What's the magic word?"

Arthur pretended to think. "_Avada Kedavra?_"

The American pouted, shining his puppy dog blue eyes behind the lens of his glasses. "Aw, Artie! That's just cold!"

Arthur rubbed the poor vein near his temples, hoping to avoid an aneurysm. He drank in slow, deep breaths as Alfred spat out a cherry stem from his mouth, all chewed up and slimy, before stuffing it into a napkin at the mouth of his backpack before taking up another long stem to pop back into his mouth. Arthur raised an eyebrow in surprise. He'd seen a few students around his dorm room do that before.

"Wait… are you trying to knot cherry stems?" he inquired interestedly, almost smirking as Alfred froze in his spot, pools of a warm pinkish color tinting his tan cheeks.

"How'd you know?"

Arthur shifted uncomfortably in his head. "I'm a junior, who happens to know the Frog's favorite activities. I thought it would be obvious."

It wasn't a secret to anyone that Francis and Arthur dated for the entire of their freshman (or in Francis's case, sophomore) year at the academy, and it was considered a miracle that it lasted as long as it had. They'd known each other since the cradle, though Francis was an entire year older, and they had grown up knowing each other's whims, flaws, and hobbies. They still maintained a civil and unprecedented rivalry up to this day, though Arthur would never truly admit it, and they steered clear of each other within recent weeks due to Arthur's distinct fear of Francis's current and creepy boyfriend with the weird scarf.

"Oh right. I forgot." Alfred's blush subsided as he failed, once again, to knot the cherry stem in his mouth. He'd seen his half-brother Matthew do it easily the other day in front of Antonio and Gilbert, and his quiet brother had explained that being able to do so successful made kissing more fun. It made Alfred question how innocent his sweet, silent brother was, and it didn't matter than he was half French! However, it did perk up his curiosity.

And he just wasn't getting it right!

He grumbled to himself as he spat out the next stem and stared down at his textbook, not taking in its words as he tried to knot another one.

"You are truly hopeless." Alfred glanced up as Arthur, who had taken a cherry stem for himself, rested it on his tongue before closing his mouth and moving his mouth around, far more gracefully than Alfred could ever had dreamed. Then he reached up and took the stem out of his mouth, revealing the successfully tied knot. "And you're probably doing it wrong. I've seen the guys at my dorm try it to improve their kissing skills, but tying knots with your tongue doesn't actually relate to kissing skills, just so you know, but it does make everything more enjoyable sometimes."

Alfred stared. "How—?"

"I dated the Frog, remember?" Arthur reminded him huffily. "There's a trick to it." He dropped the stem on the table. "Now, back to your book."

Alfred continued to stare. "Uh, wait, what?" He scratched the side of his head. "Uh, can you show me how to do that?"

"No."

"Aw, come on, Artie! Please?"

"Please refrain from addressing as 'Artie'," Arthur added, raising a large eyebrow at the pleading sophomore. "It's irritating. I'm not here to show you how to do a meaningless trick. I'm here to help your improve your grades."

Alfred had the puppy dog eyes. "Okay, how about this? You show me how to do that again, and I'll study without complaint! Promise!" He clasped his hands together in prayer. "Please, Arthur? Please, please, please, please…"

Arthur rolled his eyes as the vein returned and threatened to burst. "Do act your age, why don't you?" he snapped, but as he took in the puppy dog eyes, a part of him melted with resignation. He glanced around, and once he was satisfied that no one was in sight, he sighed and put the book down. "Fine."

He picked up another cherry and placed it on his tongue. He had to give Alfred the instructions first, before showing him step by step how each formed, somehow managing to keep his pride in tact every time he stuck his tongue back out for Alfred to see his progress. He let Alfred know the simple stems. He took the long stem and softened it before wedging one end in between his incisor teeth to hold it in place while putting the other end with his tongue to fold them together. He then twisted the tip of the longer end of the stem with his tongue to the middle of the crossed stems and came out with a successful knots.

One that was impossible for Alfred to duplicate. He tried three times before he finally gave up.

"And I thought you said you liked a challenge," Arthur said lowly as he chuckled to himself.

"I have no idea why Mattie said this would be more fun," Alfred grumbled, not hearing what he said.

Arthur chortled, having witnessed Alfred's attempts and fails with the same amount of amusement had had when he, Gilbert, Francis, and few other friends had a drunken gathering during middle school while trying to do that trick, with only Francis accomplishing it without worry, boasting that 'it was no challenge for his tongue' before winking at a flushed Arthur.

"Well, you tried," he finally said, before pointing at the books. "I believe we had a deal."

However, five minutes into the session only annoyed Arthur further since Alfred was too gloomy to really pay too much attention. This Saturday was a complete waste of time that Arthur himself gave up and slammed his book shut.

"That's it. We're done for today. I'll email you the notes tomorrow."

Alfred frowned. "Why?"

"Why? You're just staring at the book, and you're not reading anything! Honestly, you twat, it's just a stupid game!"

"A game my little brother can do. I mean, I don't even wanna know where he learned it, but that's not right! And it's not fun." With that expression, he resembled a kicked puppy. Arthur shook his head and stared at the remaining stems. Fine, if Alfred was going to be depressed about this…

The common sense in Arthur's brain, the one that encouraged him to just pack up and leave was ignored as the other Arthur inside him took over. Maybe knotting cherry stems had been a bad idea, as it reminded Arthur of everything he chose _not_ to be after he broke up with Francis—the mischief-making punk with the hidden tattoo behind his neat, prim clothing, with a yearning to rock out to Queen and Guns N Roses while talking with a Cockney accent just to annoy people.

He'd regret it later. This Saturday was going downhill as it was, and his reputation wasn't exactly clean.

"Alright, how about this?" he said, maintaining an air of civility. "I'll show you again. Bear in mind that this is just—purely educational, so to speak. I am your tutor, after all. But after this, you focus on your studies rather than propose random and pointless propositions. Agreed?"

Taking up the longest cherry stem left, he pushed himself into the seat next to Alfred, grabbed his jaw, and stuck the stem in his mouth, which wasn't hard as Alfred had started gaping at him the moment he sat down next to him.

"Uh, alright—?" Alfred began, before Arthur chose to partially straddle him to the sofa. "Wait, what—"

"Shut it," Arthur murmured, his ivory skin flushing as he green eyes met Alfred's wide blue ones. "And don't move."

Before the American could respond, the Englishman lowered his head down and pressed his lips against his, savoring the startled gasp that emitted from Alfred, along with the taste of cherries on his lips. Alfred's eyes shut as Arthur broke passed his lips and expertly tangled his tongue against his, practically dueling with him as he went through every step of tying the stem using Alfred's own tongue rather than teeth, and all Alfred could do was moan in a low, husky tone as slithers of heat pooled along his cheeks, neck, arms, and back, taking in the taste of peppermint tea from Arthur's mouth. He pulled the Englishman closer, completely forgetting that they were supposed to be studying, and drank in every shiver that came with Arthur's soft, warm tongue licking and prodding his mouth, fighting for supremacy. He snatched the chance to nip at Arthur's lower, and rejoiced in the warm sigh that caressed him in reply.

Without warning, Arthur pulled back and smirked down at the stunned American below him, before pulling back and sitting down as though nothing had happened, wiping away the drool dribbling down the side of his mouth.

"Well, I suppose that gets the point across," he said, slowly extracting the knotted stem from his own mouth, smirking at how it gleamed with not only his saliva, but Alfred's as well. "Good day to you."

Alfred was fairly certain he could never look at Arthur's mouth the same way again.

He was also certain that he had been staring at the junior with his mouth hanging open like a complete and utter moron, and only began moving his numb limbs after he realized that Arthur had gathered up his studying utensils and had disappeared into the maze of bookshelves without another word.

"What—?" Alfred shook his head before scrambling to pack up his own belongings. "Yo, Artie, wait up!"

He hurried after the Englishman, almost knocking their Chinese librarian over in the process. After muttered several apologies and helping to pick up the fallen books from Mr. Wang's grip, Alfred raced out of the library and ran down the corridors, passed unsuspecting students and teachers alike. There was only one place where Arthur would go to after their tutoring sessions, and as Alfred predicted, Arthur was in his dorm room, sipping a cup of tea while packing away his belongings.

"Hello, Alfred-kun," Kiku said as he met Alfred panting in the doorway, his dark brown eyes wide with surprise. "I did not expect to see you here."

"Hey, Honda," Alfred gasped, rubbing the back of his head while he caught his breath. "How've ya been? Hey, I n-need to talk to Arthur for a sec."

Kiku blinked. He turned around to see Arthur sitting in the chair by his desk, innocently blowing over his freshly brewed cup of peppermint tea. He raised an eyebrow once he realized who was keeping his roommate in the doorway and rolled his eyes.

"Is there something troubling you, Alfred?" he inquired politely.

'_Does he have a split personality or something?_' Alfred thought to himself before saying, "Uh, I got a question about... the thing," he finally said.

His blushed under the gaze of those green eyes as Arthur repeated, "The thing? Can you be more specific, please? Details do assist in making your point across."

Alfred glanced at Kiku, whose expression never betrayed his thoughts, but thankfully, Kiku was proficient enough at 'reading the atmosphere' to know that Alfred wouldn't talk with him present. Bowing his head to Arthur and then Alfred, he said, "I am going now" before patiently walking around Alfred and down the hallway.

Alfred stepped through the door, swinging the door behind him without any real force so it just tapped against the door-frame without closing entirely. However, the two young men only had their eyes on each other as Alfred tossed his backpack on Arthur's bed.

"What the heck was that?" he finally blurted out as Arthur sipped tea.

"I told I would show you how to knot a cherry stem," Arthur replied evenly. "That's how I was taught anyways, by the Frog, nonetheless."

"I don't care about that!" Alfred said, his voice rising. "Why'd you run off?"

That took the Englishman by surprise. "Our session was over, and I wanted to return here," he said in a matter-of-factly tone that aroused a 'you've-got-to-be-kidding-me' groan out of the American.

"Yeah, well…" Alfred struggled for the words as the memory of that kiss hit him fully-fledged, and he found himself blushing from head to toe, much to Arthur's amusement. "You know, I—I didn't get all that."

"How so?"

Alfred approached Arthur and removed the delicate cup from Arthur's hand, neither willing to struggle for all the mess hot tea would make if it spilled, but that did not stop the scowl that bloomed over Arthur's face as Alfred dragged him up onto his feet.

"And what the blood hell do _you_ think you're doing?" Arthur snapped, a hint of his Cockney accent dripping into his voice.

"You're a tutor, so you should know," Alfred said, grinning down at that familiar scowl. "Didn't ya always say repetition's a good way to remember somethin'?"

"You choose _now_ to listen to me?"

"I always listen to ya," Alfred said, still grinning as Arthur tutted and called him a prat. "Besides, what kinda tutor would ya be if ya didn't help me practice?"

"Will you please practice pronouncing those words properly, and refrain from joining them together?" Arthur complained, though it came out half-hearted as a new crimson tint bloomed across his high cheekbones under Alfred's persistent, and somewhat tender gaze.

"_Nah_," Alfred drawled softly, just to see that fire of impatience burn in the Englishman's eyes.

"Very well, then." Arthur reached out for Alfred's bag and withdrew the container with the remaining stems. He picked one at random and held it up between them. "However this is off the record, educationally speaking. You'd probably fail it as you fail everything else."

"I doubt it. I always remember what ya say and do anyway."

Arthur froze. "I beg your pardon?"

Alfred blushed and ran his hand through his hair. "Well, ya only notice that I'm around when you're tutorin' me! How else am I supposed to get yer attention?"

In hindsight, Arthur should have been furious. It what Alfred said was true, then he was just faking his poor grades just to spend time with him, and wasting away every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday for who knows how long! But something about it was touching. In all the time he had spent in this academy, no one, not even Arthur's closest friends, would risk their own education just to spend any time with him, especially if it was detention. The annoying American with a big heart did that just for him? He was as red as a rose as he took in Alfred's words, and though he'd have a strong word with him about it, now was not the time.

He chortled disapprovingly. "Prat."

Alfred grinned shamelessly. "Limey."

The English junior held up the stem for the American sophomore before plopping it into his own mouth, smirking at the expression of surprise on the other's face.

"Well, go on then, mate," Arthur taunted impishly, just a hint of his old Cockney accent weaseling its way into the mix. "Let's see what you've learned already, and I'll make the corrections when you're done."

He hadn't finished the last word in his sentence as Alfred claimed his lips for his "practice session" and melded his tongue with Arthur's as they found themselves in another dueling match, this time, without the sudden end. Alfred held Arthur tightly in his arms, his heart thudding dangerously in his chest as Arthur hummed with pleasure, threading his nimble fingers into Alfred's wheat-colored locks. Heat flowed through the two of them as they leaned into each other, growing intensely breathless as Alfred fumbled and failed at his task while Arthur nipped and sucked his lower lip, causing the American to moan with need at the small man's teasing. Arthur smiled against Alfred's eager mouth as the two of them tumbled to the edge of Arthur's bed, both of them too wrapped up in each other to notice the small Japanese teenager peeking through the crack of the open doorways with a small device in his hands, thankful that the shutter sound was on silent as he finished recording the video snippet.

Kiku, blushing as he quietly closed the door to give to two some privacy, hurried off towards the stairway as he dialed a number on his phone. "Eliza-chan, I have something you may be interested in seeing…"

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**Naughty Kiku! I love the Cockney accent. Reminds me of Donna Noble a lot.**

**And if he's blushing, I'm blushing more. First time I wrote something like that, and I can't stop blushing. I'm going to pass out at this rate. Just kidding, but USUK is my OTP.  
**

—**MELPOMENE-THE-TRAGIC-PARODY, signing out.**


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